Testimonial from HMR client
What began as a plea for help in dealing with a partner approaching end stage alcoholism evolved into a journey through my autobiography that was completely unexpected. Prior to sessions, I often would say to myself—“Well, we’re almost finished with this…” or “Well, after the connections made last time….” Far from being over, this walk-in closet of memories and experiences has revealed itself to have more connections than ever imagined.
My first understanding and appreciation of HMR is its validity. By validity I refer to two levels: The prospect of owning my life as opposed to being victimized by old versions of my Self; and the ‘organic’ process resulting in the satisfied feeling of attaining answers.
As a retired teacher, I recall the various mantras I pressed upon my students regarding ownership: ownership of learning; ownership of writing; and ultimately, ownership of one’s life. In the same sense, HMR affords anyone that opportunity at any age/stage. The reframing of memories and reactions uses the tools of the client’s actual experience, thus establishing undeniable authenticity. While the HMR therapist uses prescribed prompts to effectively evoke and qualify the feelings and sensory details of the memory, the responses result appropriately due to the respondent’s ownership. The body talk that emerges is totally convincing that this is the ‘real deal’ and not some imagined, canned pop psychology.
Were I to illustrate my Self as a result of HMR, I am standing up in a spacious boat cruising down a beautiful river whose banks are tree-lined such that the sunlight filters down. My standing up enables me to marvel at my strength, my balance, and the complete absence of fear. This is a notable contrast to my usual position in a boat, gripping the side, certain that a life-threatening encounter is imminent. Not only am I ‘vertical’, but I am artfully, almost casually tossing monogrammed suitcases onto the bank. I am unconcerned about the contents of the luggage, as I am confident that all I need is within me. This is such a new and invigorating feeling that it is nothing short of a rush, like that of the endorphin type, another exotic feeling as yet unknown. All of the receptors in my cells undoubtedly are free of the toxic power of past memory. The memories, however are intact, but they have been reframed in such a way that they no longer are the unwieldy, looming package they once represented. No, they have been reclaimed and sorted in such a way that I now can access them for their true value.
One of the best examples of this involves an earlier time in my life —the first death of someone close—the loss of my brother. The memory for over thirty years has been a giant burden—-think of a large bale of hay. The weight of this was controlled by the family implosion that had been building prior to his death and that continued in its fury and tragedy afterward. In rediscovering the loving memories that were indeed the proverbial needle in said haystack, I realized the possibility of enjoying the revisiting of our relationship separately from the nightmares of family dysfunction. As with other understandings achieved through HMR, this was never one level but often multilayered. In that further realization a paradigm shift occurred that resulted in what I label as ‘appropriate appropriation’: the assignment of stuff to its appropriate owner or at least assignment beyond myself. Reassigning, reallocating, rethinking connections among body, mind, spirit/soul—- HMR has truly allowed me the dual benefit of a “redo’ while also moving forward.
Can I Get A Witness?
The Hologram aspect of HMR: Despite wishes to have Avatar-like capabilities, I have come to understand the value of reimagined versions of ourselves. For example—to the question—“How many Ericas have felt like this?”, I might respond 8 or 10. In a recent session I envisioned my safe place “porch” to resemble a weird version of the famous Las Meninas, with every member of the family being an Erica at a different age. Of course this is not life’s mirror, but the plethora of selves made sense as a cornerstone of my being. Like the often quoted Shakespearean line: there’s “method to the madness”: our reactions are subsequent to all earlier memories, earlier tapes that continue to present earlier versions. HMR provides not only rearrangement but safe, guided re-exploration and rediscovery of original value.
Clearly the HMR therapy involves many more essential factors, not the least of which is the association of color. I have highlighted my own significant gains. Having had so much success in rethinking my Self and my life has been invaluable.
I now experience a sense of empowerment that I wear, determined to navigate my life forward, unburdened of old messages and hurtful assessments from family, and now-archived ex-husbands. No, my tool box has been reduced to essentials, one of the best being a valid understanding of my own strength and ability to be in the now and to be truly present to myself and others. (Submitted by Erica, not her real name)